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Sep. 15th, 2009

Victoria

Decisions decisions

There does come a time when one can no longer spend time thinking about options and possibilities. A time when a choice has to be made, one way or the other, a choice which your entire future rests upon. No pressure or anything.

Sometimes we make decisions unconsciously, simply by acting or thinking as we normally do. But then there are the deliberate ones.

As of right now, my future is uncertain. I search for stability in a crumbling emotional climate. My living arrangements are uncertain, my relationship is uncertain, my job is ... you guessed it... uncertain. I have reached the point of acceptance, however, and am doing my best to live life as it is dealt to me, in the best way I know how.

I have taken some time for myself, much needed, to try and regain some semblance of balance. I could search under rocks and find things I don't want to find but I must choose not to. I get upset easily at things that I am also guilty of, go figure. The quandary of the insecure!

I need help from God, the universe, my friends and my soul. Be gentle on me, help me see purpose and value in my life. Help me to overcome the question of 'what am I supposed to be doing?' as there is no answer on the horizon.

The goals: happiness. stability. passion. fun. health. security!! Wish me luck!!

Love Suz

May. 28th, 2009

Victoria

Day or Night?

It's 7:30, so technically night time, but I have a hard time feeling like it's night with the hot sun blasting through my windows. May in Vancouver is probably one of the best months of the year! I have been busy the past few months, emotionally busy, physically busy and spiritually busy. For the first time in recent months, yesterday I feel like I caught up with the looming things I have to do in my life. Work wise I have been neglecting sugar due to not having any, and now that we have some it's tough to get back in the habit of checking (and returning) messages. Funny, considering how it's an income source for me. In addition, I have another fitness client, who lives in a building with a gym very close to my place and I can add her in after an existing client which makes life VERY convenient. I am now training five days/week around 8:30am. The life of a self-employed person is a hectic one I feel. I have known for awhile that my time management skills are lacking, so perhaps that is my next lesson to learn. That and boundaries. More on that later.

Lately I have been feeling like I'm ignoring people close to me, not being available for them, not really returning phone calls and emails in a timely fashion, and just feeling busy. I dislike the feeling of not having enough time both for myself and those I care about.

Last Friday I learned that someone I knew, James Lynch, died. I knew him for over six years and although we weren't close, I was very sad to learn of his passing for it was far too soon for him. His death brought an awareness to me of life and the impact we have on those around us. In depressed states it is easy (for me) to sink into the mindspace of, I'm not really doing anything useful with my life, I'm not living my *purpose*, but the truth is that I AM doing something useful with my life. We all are. Simply by existing we are doing what we are here to do! That may sound lackadaisical but some days it's what gets me by.

My favourite analogy is of a forest and we are all trees in it. I don't need to be the tallest, thinnest, strongest or most beautiful. Without every tree there would not be a forest, and they are all beautiful and necessary in their own way. As are we.

James lived a chaotic but love filled life and will be remembered with humour and passion.

Regarding the boundaries, the last few months have been an emotional roller coaster. Not to get into it on a public forum, those closest to me know of the drama and what I am doing to cope. Let's just say that I completely lost myself in a wonderful and painful experience. I always say you don't get the highs without the lows, and BOY is that ever true! Recently, I have been working on rebuilding trust and respect, and deciding if it's worth the effort. I suppose in some cases it is and others not, and only time will tell. Hm. A good friend today told me to stop fighting what IS. By thinking that things could or should have been different, we are not accepting what actually IS. The way forward for me is to create and adhere to boundaries. Emotional boundaries that allow me to still grow and develop myself in the directions that I had planned earlier in the year. You know, like the last post I made. What happened to all that? Life, that's what.

I am planning a trip to Brazil in December with two close girlfriends. I also hope to get to Edmonton for the August Long weekend. All good stuff. I'll probably be spending three weeks in Toronto for business which I'm very much looking forward to. My first business trip ever! It's no India or Philippines but I'll take it ;-)

Today I'm more grounded and centred. I've been practicing a lot more yoga since two good friends of mine have unlimited passes to Y Yoga. I've been inline skating to my hearts content and am about to resume weekly grinding.

The birds at 4am are a little painful but if it's the price to pay for an early summer, it's worth it.

Lots of love, and no promises to blog regularly, Suzanne

Jan. 16th, 2009

Victoria

2009 Reality Check

Lately I have been dreading having to post (even though there is NO BODY holding me to it but myself) because generally when I *have* to do something I don't want to do it. Anyone else out there like that?

But I must say that seemingly overnight, from '08 to '09, I have turned over a new leaf of life. Where to begin? I tried anti-depressants for 6 weeks prior to the new year and kept meaning to renew my prescription but on Dec 31st I ran out and never went back for a refill. I haven't even noticed that I felt any different at all...so apparently I wasn't depressed! That's good news. I wasn't sure if I was or not but things really didn't appear to be moving in any direction at all. I liken it to treading water in the tropics...great water temperature, nice and shallow, safe and beautiful but oh look...there's the same palm tree that I've been looking at for 4 years...there's the same white sand beach. Yes I could stay there forever but after awhile even 'paradise' starts getting boring. No waves, no mountains, no excitement or adventure. No life direction or purpose...it's enough to drive one mad - which was what was happening to me last year.

So...I saw the life coach/mentor Leslie and have a solid plan for the year ahead, laid out month by month. It's very clear and concise, you know the SMART goal thing (specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and timely). I not only figured out what my life dream is but am going to live it out THIS YEAR!

Also, I have gotten back on track regarding eating and exercising. Still miles from perfection, I'm consistently getting the 5hrs/week I so need and more importantly, have fallen in love with cross country skiing and snowshoeing. This is a most excellent way to enjoy the outdoors even in poor weather conditions. I find that when I'm outside getting vigorous exercise...I have a grin on my face. I coast along grinning like an idiot and having the time of my life.

Last night I went to a hot yoga class at Yaletown Yoga and it was AWESOME! I seriously think I should do that every day.

I have been reaching out more and being proactive in meeting people and have met some amazing people this year. Doesn't it make all the difference in the world...having people around who are inspiring and genuine? It's easy to get caught up in life, making a living, exercising and the like, and forget about the things that matter most. Connections with people. We are not in this thing alone. The other day I hugged a complete stranger who I thought needed one and he was grateful. My heart is opening to let in more of life and more of love and I love it. That is what life is about after all. One of my inspirational quotes is, "A boat is always safe in the harbour, but that's not what it was built for".

Another interesting feeling I have had lately is that of peace. For some reason I am not comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate like I may have done in the past. I have this calm acceptance of myself and who I am, and you know...I rather like it! It's a wonderful feeling to like oneself since we really are stuck with ourselves for the long haul! LOL

There is more I would like to say but question the relevance. For now, today, this month, I am looking into which city I will be going to in May (Yes I am LEAVING for awhile). I am registering for a photography class (life dream) and just trying to journal regularly, blog periodically and do the things I have said I would one day do. The time is now.

Love to you all ;)

Dec. 15th, 2008

Vegas

Good News at Last!

Good Afternoon!

This month (December 15th) I am doing well. Due in part to a probable hormonal shift, starting medication, coming up with a 1,5 & 10 year plan and eating better, I am feeling pretty good! I am still not working out a ton, but I am happier in general. I have been sitting in my IR sauna regularly and sweating out some toxins - man I love that thing! I also started weight watchers (for the 6th time in my life) but not to lose weight. I like WW because it holds me accountable where I don't seem to be able to do it on my own. But if I'm paying someone to weigh me, I do better. Believe me, it's well worth the $16/week. For me.

I'm not going to reveal what my plan is for the next year, you will just have to stay tuned to find out. Months fly by so before long my plan will be exposed and lived. I will say this, though. I have committed to compete in Femsport 2009!! I even have a teammate named Kris Reaves - she is a super talented nutrition specialist so I am very lucky! I met her at the Femsport training bootcamp, of which I will be taking part in the new year. I was inspired by my good friend Barb, who is also competing in the upcoming event. She has a team already, but we are really like one big team for Fitnesslicious, the website created by Elya that inspires and connects all of us!!

I've been trail running a bit, not that much. Weight-lifting a bit, not that much. Facebooking a bit - okay a bit too much. So it is not too difficult for me to see what I need to cut back on, and what I need to commit to doing more of. My coffee and water consumption have increased, but so has my veggie intake. I'm doing pretty well considering all the Holiday events lately, I have 7 parties in 9 days!!

I have made a pact to not read any self-help books in 2009 so I am finishing up the ones I am reading now. I have just handmade all my Christmas cards this year, something I have been meaning to do for years! It's time to start crossing off some of the things that are on my 'long term list' of things to do. You know the ones that never seem to go anywhere. It turns out that if I want to accomplish something in my life...*I'm* the one who's going to have to do it! I have been slowly shifting crowds to spend time with people who I share common goals with. Goals of fitness, spirituality, emotional health. You are who you spend time with right? And you only get right now. Every moment spent doing something is a moment that could have been spent moving towards the goal. I guess what I am trying to say (making a short story long) is that every moment counts.

Peace and Love,

Suzanne

P.S. Happy New Year...Merry Christmas...see you in '09!

Nov. 15th, 2008

Ball Plank

Wrong or Write

Hello,

Well, I thought I'd try and think of a title that wasn't 'Update'. I seem to always want to name things that. It's because they are always updates, so can you blame me?

Over the past month, many things have happened. The trip to Hawaii was phenomenal...I really never have fallen in love with Hawaii as much as I did this time. We went to Oahu and the Big Island and MAN, do I ever love it there!! We went to see red hot flowing lava in a helicopter after being burned the walk-in way. The lava was about a mile away and you couldn't see anything but a dull red glow after nightfall. Since we don't go to Hawaii often, we decided to splurge and take the chopper. We could even feel the heat coming off from the mouth of the east rift vent, Pu'u'o'o, as we flew over. We saw houses that had been enveloped by lava with only their roofs remaining. We did a full island circuit and saw the lush valleys on the north side of the island, reminiscent of Kauai. Our hotel, the Mauna Lani, was celebrating it's 25 year anniversary, so it wasn't a new hotel, but very grand with marble and koi ponds everywhere. We swung in the hammocks beside the beach for hours at a time, time didn't exist. Another evening we went scuba diving with manta rays. Only my second night dive ever, I was a bit scared but it was pretty commercial and there were lots of people around which made it well lit. Not scary at all, but amazing to see the huge creatures pass within centimetres of us!! Amazing. We bought the dvd :-)

I finished my Choices course, and recommend it to anyone who is not fully functioning in their lives. They had us look at some stuff that creates blockages in our thinking and work to remove it. I can't explain it much better than that, except that when I emerged after my 5 day sojourn, I felt like my eyes were open more and that I had more energy. Check out http://www.choicesseminars.com/Index.php for more info and feel free to name me as recommending it to you. It was part 1 of 3, and I return in January and February for parts 2&3. I can't wait!

As for fitness and nutrition, I haven't really gotten back on track! Today and most of the past week I have been sick with a cold. Nothing major but my energy is so low that I don't feel like working out. We didn't really have time at the seminar, and prior to that I was in Hawaii. I've gotten in a few runs and workouts but nothing regular.

I'm continuing working on my writing course, my assignment is due tomorrow night. I'm writing about my bike trip through the Rockies that I went on in July (I blogged about it). I have a few more ideas about what to do going forward but I'm enlisting the help of Les Wilshire of Les Clutter Services for prioritizing. I don't cut my own hair, or give myself prescriptions, so I have no shame in admitting that I need help with life planning. If you do too, I highly recommend Leslie http://www.lesclutterservices.com/index.html

Anyhow, thanks for following along, I wish I had more exciting news for you but I have to save some things for myself ;-)

Oh, Dave and I did go see Madonna, which was very interesting. I didn't recognize much of her music since was mostly from the new album, but it was certainly worthwhile going to see her. I also had a great time at the Fitnesslicious photo shoot, and will post a pic or two once I get my cd's. It was wonderful to meet so many energetic, beautiful girls. They are/were so inspirational!! Thank you if you were one of them.

Ok, signing out for now...xoxo Suz

Oct. 16th, 2008

Vegas

New Mission

Hi,

I've made it a mission to blog at least once per month. Starting today :)

Over the past month I have been doing some soul searching with regards to life, fitness and my future. I have been reaching out in many directions hoping to gain some clarity. I went to many yoga classes, mostly challenging ones, and spent the first weekend in October at a Yoga Festival.

Some examples of things I have done to reach out are:

- hiring a woman to come over and help organize me. My computer, my office, my thoughts and we're working on my vision board. Everyone should have one! Once it's on paper, goals seem so much more attainable. I'm starting to see how my big dreams can be broken down into little bits that I can work towards daily. It's funny how I can know this regarding fitness but not apply it to the rest of my life (I guess some of us take longer than others).

- I went to see a life coach. Now I must admit, I signed up for this prior to having the de-clutter woman come over. As it turns out, I don't think I need both, but I still have two outstanding sessions with the life coach that I'm going to use. She is a bit new-agey, here are some examples of things she recommended: don't wear black, make an alter, list 50 things that bring me joy, and watch The Peaceful Warrior.

- In an effort to stay looking young(ish) I am investigating botox. I had always thought it was harmful but after some research, it appears rather benign and not super expensive. Elya inspired me to take better care of my skin, so I have added that to my mission.

- I registered for a personal growth seminar to take place in November. I am really looking forward to it, I was on the fence for a long time about which one to take, but once I picked one, it was full steam ahead. By next blog I should be very enlightened :)

- I am about to go on holiday to Hawaii for 9 days, so that should be relaxing. I now have an iPhone so I am looking forward to not staring at computer screens all day long, and being a bit inaccessible.

- Finally, I signed up for the Halloween photo shoot with the Fitnesslicious crew. How much fun is that going to be?!! I have to find time to get some shopping done since I'll be away for the group shop set to occur on Sunday :( Wish me luck!

- My most recent visit to the naturopath following my 4-5 weeks of eating clean for my body has resulted in her prescribing some vitamins/enzymes and suggesting re-introducing the foods I'm sensitive to to determine the degree of sensitivity. It appears it's up to me now. Gosh I was hoping to rely on someone else to do the hard work for me ;) Oh well. As it turns out my diet hasn't been so clean the past week so I hope to reinstate the good diet, if not during then at least after the trip.

- Oh, one more thing. I am retaking my writing course that I started in the spring. I am joining the class in week 5 and might even shift this blog back to the travel writing focus it started out as. I am really having difficulty reconciling all of my pursuits, which is one reason I am looking forward to the seminar in November.

So, it seems I've been busy. Today I'm going for a trail run around Buntzen Lake, despite it being rainy and cold. This might be my last workout for the next 1.5 weeks.

I hope you are all doing well with fitness and life in general. Until next month....

Suzanne

Sep. 28th, 2008

Victoria

Long Time no Login

Hi Anyone who might happen to read this,

I'm back to share my update. Over the past month, I've reached two personal fitness goals. Both of them kind of by accident.

Firstly, I ran my personal best 10k time in the Nike Human Race - some of you may recall the goofy picture of me running that was my FB profile pic for awhile. I finally cracked 50 mins, a goal that has eluded me for years. I credit my performance to the trail running undertaken with Lindsay and Barb all summer long, and regular grinding. It certainly wasn't good diet!

Also, last weekend, I reached my long-time grind time goal of 45 mins. I accomplished this by wearing ankle weights for a few slow climbs prior to this, and also by eating well - more on this shortly. The stars must have been aligned, because I showed up late meeting my friend who had already started, I had my music, I hadn't eaten recently, it was cold and rainy and I didn't bring any water with me. I guess I was energetic, because I was hoping to make it in under 50 mins (my previous best time was 47 mins) so when I looked at my watch and saw it at 45 mins I was shocked and ran for the finish. So I have to make new goals now, but have been basking in the glow of reaching these ones.

While I am not much leaner, it is comforting to know that at least my physical abilities are improving.

Regarding diet, I was tired of my chronic sugar/caffeine/flour addictions so I went to the naturopath. She gave me a vega test to determine my food sensitivities. At the end she advised me to stay away from the foods causing me grief for 4 weeks and see what happens. So far it has been 2.5 weeks and I feel pretty good! I have more energy (now) but the first week was brutal. I've been avoiding things like wheat (even whole wheat), dairy, caffeine (yes, chocolate too), aspartame and a few other normal-ish foods - it's specific to my body. So I like it. It's like I'm on my own personal cleanse. My skin is clearer and I don't experience the energy rushes and voids like I did before drinking coffee. I did lose some fat at first but have made up for it with almond butter. One thing at a time I suppose =)

Now, moving into winter, I'll be making the switch to more indoor based exercises like weight lifting, yoga and fitness classes. I am hoping to see some of you at the Halloween Photo Shoot, if I got in on time, still not sure about that. But it looks like fun either way!

I wish you all well and look forward to hearing how you're doing in your journeys =)

xoxo Suz

P.S. I've had some photos taken by my good friend Barbara, who is setting up a business. Check out some of her work at www.barbararahal.blogspot.com

Aug. 15th, 2008

Victoria

Summer in the City

Hi!

Today I feel pretty good, I worked out a lot last week and am STILL feeling the burn. I guess that's what happens after taking a couple of months (yes ladies, I said MONTHS) off of weight training. I have been doing tons of cardio, trail running, cycling, rollerblading and such, but no actual weight training. Until last week, when I went to the gym and killed it!

I went to see Femsport on Saturday in Yaletown and my good friend Barb was taking professional pictures of the competitors. What an inspiration! I am convinced that I should enter next time around, if only for the fun factor. I certainly ended up thinking, "I can do that" with regards to box jumps, obstacle courses and more.

My eating has been pretty good, not squeaky clean, but better than average. I'm looking forward to joining in a few more grinds and classes with the FL girls over the next while before summer ends.

I'm also looking forward to a girls camping trip to Saltspring Island on September 4-6th. Anyone interested please let me know! The more the merrier!!

It's good to be back blogging, and I am eternally grateful to the ever-energetic Elya for motivating all of us to keep blogging and keep plugging away at health and fitness.

XOXO

Jul. 16th, 2008

Victoria

Finally Recovered!

Hi!

I feel like I have finally recovered fully from the bike trip. I was doing some power yoga last week along with a grind and a trail run but basically taking it easy. I have to admit, I must have depleted my caloric reserves since I ate a bit too much last week, but it is all good now.

I have to say thanks for everyone who wrote in encouraging words in response to my last entry! Thanks so much, it's nice to know I inspire people here and there :-) Please let me know what your blog links are so I can see your progress as well!

Yesterday I couldn't run out of energy. I haven't felt like that for a long time! I ran in the morning, went rollerblading in the afternoon hard for an hour but still felt like I could go all day. Monday I biked to New West with some clients/friends, worked out AND went to yoga afterwards.

For me though, it has never been about the working out, it has been about the dieting. I'm doing alright, I'm back to 143 in the mornings, which is better than 148 but not quite the 138 I was hoping for. 5lbs to go until goal, and a few weeks still remaining in which to do it. You will hear this from me time and time again, but I really must clean up my act re: eating. My portion sizes are too big although the food itself is healthy for the most part.

At least I know what I have to work on right? I may join the girls in a grind this Sunday if it's on, most of my exercise has been horizontal lately ;-)

I have an 8am trail run tomorrow morning and yoga in the evening from 7-9pm. I guess I should weight train one of these days too, LOL

Take care all, that's my update!

xo Suz

Jul. 7th, 2008

Victoria

Return of the Crazy Cyclist

Hi!

I'm back! I decided to cut my trip off early for many reasons. After 3 full days of biking, I made it 429km (to Kimberley from Calgary) in 23 hours of cycling. I realized along the way that I was cycling the WRONG way...since there was a headwind, even though most of days 2 and 3 were southbound (Hwy 93). Here is a breakdown of the trip:

Day 1 - Calgary to Canmore (134km - because of detours)

I followed the 1A out of Calgary, which is Crowchild trail. In the morning I had found out that my bike pump didn't work and I ended up deflating my rear tire and couldn't re-inflate it. I walked the bike to MEC to exchange the pump and also purchased some good rain gear since it was raining. I eventually left MEC at 11:30am and headed NW. I stopped for lunch in Cochrane at 1:30pm or so. At the turnoff for the Kananaskis, I noticed a dark cloud and thought about stopping, but wanted to see how much further Canmore was. The sign said 20km when I cycled ahead to read it. I was thinking, "I can make it, it'll only take an hour or so". At that point there was a huge crash and the rain started. On the other hand, I thought, maybe I'll just stay at the Kananaskis Lodge for the night. I went back the other way to seek the lodge. I think I was on the 1X at that point. I cycled but couldn't find the village! It started to rain heavier, and what I did find was the Bow Valley Park Visitor Centre. It was closed. It had a large overhang and some benches which did fine to shelter me from the thunderstorm. I waited for an hour for the rain to pass. When it did, I was close to the #1 and thought I'd just take that the rest of the way to Canmore. When I reached the next sign, it said 27 to Canmore - GRRRRR. It had only been 20 more on the 1A. Anyway, what could I do? I kept going and reached Canmore at 7. I could have made it to Banff but since it was day 1 I thought I'd take it easy and not push too hard. Plus I needed time to find a decent place to stay at a reasonable price. Keep in mind it is peak season.

I found a place with ease, had a bath (I never have baths, but it seemed like a really good idea at the time) and went for a short walk around town. The rivers are really high this time of year with spring runoff and it looked like every river was about to flood! My legs were tired and the walk was kept short. I do love Canmore though, see FB for some shots of the town. It's in a perfect location for outdoor activities!! I went to bed around 10pm so I could get well rested for the following day.

Day 2 - Canmore to Radium (159km)

Following my high carb breakfast of cereal, toast and coffee, I departed Canmore feeling strong at 8:30am. It was cool so I wore my light jacket and pants. It could all be in my head, but the more I wear, the less weight is in the panniers to drag along. I saw a few other cyclists out on the road, some on my side, some on the other, but it was largely deserted, save for the usual motor vehicle traffic. When I reached Banff, I had really just started for the day and didn't need a break yet, so I didn't even stop. I took the 1A exit again that went by Johnson Canyon - which I also didn't stop at - since it looked shorter on the map. That and the two women cyclists that passed me went that way. This route has a lot of climbs, and there started to be a headwind. There is nothing worse than a headwind while climbing. Well, maybe if it were over 30C and you are carrying weight. Which it was. And I was. (LOL) I started cursing my decision to take this route and fantasizing about the #1 which snaked along the bottom of the valley by the river. I played mindgames with myself to keep going. Things like: You'll be stronger at the end of all this, Pretend it's a tailwind, or, Maybe it's worse the other way. Things like that. I did make it, though, and ended up at Castle Junction where there were some cabins and a store. It was noon and time for a rest stop. I sent some texts, made some phone calls, took some photos, ate, drank and stretched.

When I checked the thermometer on my bike computer here, it was at 39C. It did drop to 38 by the time I hit the road again. Is that crazy or what?! For those of you who are familiar with the area, the 93 between Castle Junction and Radium is pretty deserted. I knew this going in, and I also knew it went over two passes. If you don't know what that is, it's the part of a road that crosses a mountain range - cyclist interpretation - steep long hills. It was hot, and I had this persistent pain in my right rear shoulder blade. I started the climb in a low gear and just kept trudging along. I sang songs, listened to the ipod, looked at the view, and kept going. And going. When I saw the sign for the continental divide I had an unbelievable feeling of accomplishment. I was elated! I had thought it would be worse. I actually made it and still had gas in the tank. I thought, wow, if this one was this easy, there is hope for the day. I reached B.C. that day at 1:24 in the afternoon.

But as I later learned, the day was far from over. I kept going...and going. The temperature hovered at about 36C most of the day. I hit the stupid headwind again that just seemed defeating. Even though I was going south at this point, it was still there. I had moments of relief, but when there's a headwind, you can't go as fast, and then the heat starts to affect you. I can cycle in heat, no problem, because the airflow keeps me cool, but not at low speeds. I came to Vermillion Crossing, another store/inn/rest stop. It was 37C and 36C in the shade. I stretched, ate my apple, used the toilet, purchased water, rested, the usual. This was the last place to buy water for 50km, until Radium.

I resumed the trip around 3:30 I guess. The time dragged and the headwind sucked. It sucked the life out of me. I started thinking about going home, because I had lots of time to think about it! I really wanted to be cycling the other way, just WITH the wind for a change. It was demoralizing and demotivating. I tried to stay strong, because there was really only one way to go! In life, when you make a decision, you must see it through to the end. We don't just give up because we hit hardship. My purpose was to go for a long bike ride, and here I was, doing it.

I conserved my water, kept pedaling and singing, and carried on. When I hit the Sinclair pass, I was completely out of steam. I would stop periodically to rest and nibble and stretch. At the pass, I got off and walked for awhile, rode for awhile, and walked some more. I knew I was near Radium since it is at the bottom of the pass on the other side. I did see some deer on the road, that vanished when some cars came whipping by, so that was nice. I kept going, uphill, for what seemed an eternity. Some clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped to the high 20's for awhile, which was nice too. I eventually reached the peak and got on my seat for the final descent into Radium Hot Springs.

My butt was so sore I barely enjoyed the 60kph speed I reached on the 8 degree decline. I stopped at the first place I saw, which was directly across from the hot springs. They had a room, I took it, and when I reached the room I felt like a zombie. I was so tired I could barely move, shower, eat, or anything. I have probably never been more tired in my entire life. Anything will seem easy after this.

When I checked the bike computer, I had been moving for 8.5 hours. That's like 2 marathons back to back. Oh dear. I knew my goal was ambitious, and I am proud of myself for achieving the goal I set that day, but MAN, I'll give more thought to trip planning in the future. I never would have learned without doing it myself though. I went to the hot springs for all of 5 minutes, sent out some necessary work emails, ate some food, and went to bed. I spoke to Dave on the phone and told him the situation and that I was considering returning home. If the entire trip was going to be against the wind, it wasn't worth it, I said.

Day 3 - Radium to Kimberley (136km)

In the morning, I had another very high carb breakfast of oatmeal, yogurt, toast & peanut butter & coffee. Despite it being BC, nobody had much fruit around, although I suppose I could have had eggs. I felt pretty good all things considered. I didn't wear underwear under my bike shorts, since the day before they had caused a rash (I know, gross). It was much cooler, 22C, and overcast and I had slept well. I spoke with Dave quickly and he had looked up flights for me from Cranbrook in case I needed an escape route. That was really really sweet of him to do. I am grateful to him still for doing that.

I started out at 10:30am. There was an initial descent into the town of Radium and despite being told there was a large hill leaving Radium, when I got there it was minor. That or I was energetic and well rested. Or both. The day started out very well actually, and I started thinking that maybe I would keep going after all.

The terrain was flat for the most part, and I was making good time, covering good ground. There were more towns, less wind, it was all good. At this rate I was hoping to make it to Kimberley in 6 hours. I'm not sure exactly when it started, but around Fairmont and Skookemchuk, the headwind kicked in again. There is a place called Canal Flats that, while flat, was so windy that I had to pedal going downhill. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was cycling into the wind. No songs or headgames could overcome that fact. In addition to the previous day's burn, rash, and exhaustion, I also started running low on water. I kept thinking that I'd be in Kimberley soon and if I stopped it would take even longer to get there. So I didn't. I kept going and so did the wind, and pretty soon all I could think about was the flight home. My condo, my bed, lying down and doing nothing... So, I'm cycling and cursing my direction of travel, and thinking about getting on a plane. I was done. By the time I reached Kimberley, I was tired (of course) and frustrated. Instead of 6 hours it took 8. I calculated there to be a 10kph headwind which means that after 5 hours of cycling, I was 50km behind where I would have been. If I had a tailwind, I would have been 100km further. So you see the frustration.

I went to Dave and Sue's house, my friends in Kimberley. It was wonderful to see them and it energized me to spend the night with them. The shower helped a lot too. I packed haphazardly because I knew I'd be getting on the plane. When I told them I was considering going home, they seemed disappointed, but Dave told me that there were 8 more passes to cross before reaching Vancouver. EIGHT! In my mind I was thinking, you know, without the headwind I'd tackle them, but not on your life am I doing it going West. I lied to them and said I'd keep going. I don't know why, but it was only day 3 and it seemed too early to give up I guess. But I don't honestly regard it as giving up. I had to stop before I hated cycling forever. Before I got sick. Before I fell over dead by the side of the road. I don't regret coming home at all.

Day 4 - The End

In the morning, my plan was to cycle back to Kimberley and take a taxi to the airport in Cranbrook! (LOL) but since the town centre was uphill from Dave & Sue's house, I decided to just bike to the airport. I told my legs, you can do another hour, it's your last one. I took some turnoff that was intended to eliminate hills, and after climbing the first hill after the river I crossed, I stopped, dialed 411 and got a number for a taxi. Then I called 411 for Air Canada. The taxi arrived, took me to the airport and I managed to catch the 11:35 flight to Vancouver. At that point I would have done ANYTHING to get on that plane. I may have even left my bike in Cranbrook. Maybe. I was SO desperate to come home that it was the single most important thing on my mind that morning: making it to the airport in time. I remember chuckling and thinking that my story of desperation and being rescued by Air Canada would make a good story for the EnRoute magazine.

As I flew for 1.5 hours over the nonstop mountain ranges, I sighed with relief at not having to cycle over them. It would have taken me over a week to get home at the rate I was going. I did the right thing. I didn't even cycle home from the airport.

Right now there are people outside cycling, walking and rollerblading. It's gorgeous out and I don't even feel bad for not being one of them. That has never happened before, so I know I am still worn out from the riding. I'm planning a few short trips to Squamish and Abbotsford, and compared to last week's adventure, they will seem easy I'm sure. My goal of someday cycling across Canada has been erased, never to return. Now I know, take shorter trips, go with the wind - even if it's uphill, and have more realistic expectations.

Whew. Okay, back to the grinding and trail running ladies!!

Jun. 24th, 2008

Victoria

Bike Trip

I'm in pain today after the trail run yesterday. I always feel fantastic at the time, but need some time to recoup afterwards. My left hip hurts (do I sound like I'm 70?) and I have a blister - due to bad socks. Regardless, I want to rest today so I'm ready to go again tomorrow!

Today I have been finalizing my Alberta trip and obtaining the last minute items like a bike computer to log my km's, some bike shorts with *padding* (very important), and a patch kit etc. I'm packing up the panniers and will try to lighten the load. I am finding that, because I'll be semi-working on the road (ie. taking the sugar phone) I must bring things like phones and chargers. I'll have to charge 4 things - 2 phones, an ipod and a camera! It's comical really.

Tomorrow I'll finish packing and get some shipping supplies to protect my bike from the cargo area on the plane. I'm a little nervous but something is calling me to go, so it must be the right thing to do. I haven't been back to Edmonton for many years, at least four, so it will be wonderful to see everyone there and in Calgary as well. I am also very eagerly anticipating the solo journey. It will combine all my loves, being outdoors, getting exercise, being outdoors....yeah. My two great loves =)

I'll be doing quite a bit of cycling, obviously, around both Edmonton and Calgary, before the actual West Quest begins. I doubt I'll do anything besides that though, mainly because I don't want to bring a whole bunch of additional gear (workout shoes/long pants) with me.

I'll try and keep in touch while I'm away, certainly by facebook if not here, and I'll write a big long blog when I get back.

Keep up the good work everyone...thanks for reading...and I'll talk to you when I get back!! Happy grinding ;-)

S

Jun. 21st, 2008

Victoria

Progress?

This morning I weighted in at 143.9lbs. But I feel good. I must be doing something right. I've been getting lot of cardio but still doing very little weight training. The trail running is helping, and now I've started cycling more with weight (in the panniers).

For those of you who don't know, the last in my series of summer trips is coming up in less than a week. I'm taking my bike to Alberta and cycling as far home as I can through the Rockies and Okanagan. If I get tired I'll take a bus home but my intent is to cycle as much as possible of the way. After the triathlon though, I realized that I haven't been doing much training for this long ride so I've started cycling everywhere.

Last night we had people over and had things like steak, garlic bread and pie! But I am still liking the scale this morning so that is one benefit of doing a lot of exercise. The ability to eat pie (occasionally) and not feel horrible in the morning.

I'm about to cycle to the grind and climb the grind (from the house in North Van, not from downtown). Again, more cardio, not much weight training. I'll tell you how bad it is...I did some push-ups with a client yesterday and I am actually feeling them today! LOL Do ya think I need to do more of them?? hehe

Tomorrow I'm coming with the Fitnesslicious girls to the grind - again - at 10:30am and hopefully at 4pm I'll hit the yogapod for a power yoga class with Cindy... I love her classes.

So that's where I'm at right now. My eating is good, not great, but I'm still cookie free and I'm reducing mocha's as well. No drastic change lasts with me so I'll take the baby steps gratefully.

We've got scheduled trail runs for Monday and Wednesday and I hope to get in a workout as well before I go to Alberta.

Talk to you all soon!!!

Suz

Jun. 16th, 2008

Victoria

Post Triathlon

Well, I'm back from the triathlon in Oliver and let me tell you...it just about killed me! But since what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I guess it was good for me.

The swim was my weakest sport and of course, that is the first event, so it took a lot out of me. I spent most of the bike ride trying to catch my breath from the swim.

The winds were high and the ride was challenging in parts and my back brake was rubbing against my wheel - just another setback - but it was GORGEOUS countryside and my first time out there. At times when I was struggling I just tried to remember that it's beautiful out and I'm cycling and I don't have to kill myself. Of course then when someone passed me I'd regain my senses and start working hard again. Luckily we had a tailwind on the way back to the transition zone. I almost got disqualified for taking off my helmet before I'd racked my bike - bad - and I wasn't allowed to wear my ipod either - worse.

The run was difficult, but only because of the swim and bike. My feet felt like they weighed 100lbs each and my legs felt like jello. The funny thing was, it was my best performance; I passed quite a few people and improved my overall position. I was 44 seconds away from getting an award in my age category but to be honest, I'm not sure I had another 44 seconds left in me. Maybe if I hadn't been stopped by the official and ran slightly faster I could have done it but seriously, at the end I was spent. SPENT.

It was great! I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

I do hope to go again next year but train a bit harder. Osoyoos and the entire Okanagan valley is just beautiful and I'd spend longer there next time. It was fun sharing the experience with 3 of my courageous girlfriends and bonding through the training, competition and road trip.

I'm glad to be back and will be doing a cleanse this week to flush out my digestive system for a brand new start. I guess we have a grind scheduled for this coming Sunday, and I hope to do some trail runs this week with my new trail running buds, Barb and Lindsay. Anyone is welcome to join us but we run during the day.

Best to you all...Suz

P.S. If you are interested in the race results and how I did, you can look here http://www.raceheadquarters.com/results/2008/multi/OliverSprint2008.html (I came in 115 overall)

Jun. 12th, 2008

Victoria

Trail Run Today

Hi!

I feel pretty good today after a morning at the spa. For the last 3 weeks I have not had a cookie (still going strong) and I'm upping the list of no's to include Blenz dark chocolate mocha's - to which I am addicted. I know I'm better off w/o them but it's a hard habit to break!

I've had my greens +, a healthy sandwich from delanys (yes, it's possible) which will fuel my trail run on Mt. Seymour in 1/2 hour. I'm meeting some hardish-core folks who have time during the day in which to exercise, and lemme tell ya, it's a lot easier to get out the door when you have someone counting on you!

I love it. For years I've wanted to meet women who share my fitness goals and also have a similar schedule, and it seems to be happening, and just in time for summer.

Today's session will be a 60-75min trail run on the Dog Mountain trail on Mt. Seymour. It will be my last workout until the triathlon on Sunday. It counts as running right?! LOL

We could all do more, eat better, I suppose, but for now I am totally happy with my energy levels, and without that, the rest wouldn't fall into place.

Happy training!

S

Jun. 10th, 2008

Victoria

Challenges & Rewards

Hi Again,

This morning I felt light and woke up hungry and was still at 144.7. It can be difficult to stay focused when you aren't seeing results - for me anyway. I suppose that 'feeling' good is better than seeing the numbers drop but still, numbers are far more tangible and seem more real, so to speak.

I was doing some searching on the internet, since we have this triathlon coming up. For a brief moment I considered signing up for a half ironman for next year! Then I looked at the price and thought I'd give it some more thought.

There is another sprint triathlon in Victoria in September that interests me as well, close to home but still inexpensive and I wouldn't have to run around loops (I really don't like doing loops) so I am considering that as well. After this weekend's tri I'll see how I feel and maybe register for this Sept. one if it goes well.

Today my energy is okay, not great, but okay. Tomorrow I am swimming kits pool and doing the grind so today should probably be an upper body day. Or a cycle day. I think my indecisiveness reflects poor planning...another challenge for me.

Anyway, thanks for staying tuned...I wish you well on your fitness journeys!!!

xo Suz

Jun. 7th, 2008

Victoria

Update

Hi Everyone!

This morning I was down to 144.6, so now less than 8 lbs to go (my goal is to be 137lbs in the morning). I think I have about 8 weeks to make it down 8 lbs so that is totally manageable.

I did the grind this morning and have yoga to do tomorrow. The sprint tri is next weekend, so I will be swimming, running and cycling once this week and resting as of Thursday. The tri is on Sunday and I want to be well rested.

I have been cookie-free for about 2 weeks now (and if you know me well you will know this is an achievement in itself) and feeling better for it. I have been doing well on the cardio but not so well on the weight training.

The chaos factor in my life has gone from about a 9 to a 6 so I can relax a little and try and refocus on me. Hence the blog entry and morning grind.

I have to constantly remind myself about the upcoming photo shoot and desire to be fit. Several times a day, seriously. I'm amazed at how easy it is to forget, even when fitness is such a big part of my life! I hope to watch a bit of the world triathlon competition tomorrow downtown for some inspiration post-yoga.

It's good to be back!

May. 27th, 2008

Victoria

Photo Shoot & Fitness Attempts

As it turns out, I have booked a photo shoot with Mr. Palmer when he's in town in August. I didn't mean for it to happen because I am a raging self-sabotager but he was so charming on facebook chat that I relented. Plus, motivation never hurt anyone.

I have been busy with life, sugar, fitness and travel and haven't been doing much writing. Online anyway. Oh the words are still there in my head of course, but for now I am sparing the WW community.

So, Elya has started a summer fitness challenge. I have accepted. She has outlined some general rules for how to get in shape and they are:

- add AM cardio (1 hour cardio 5 times a week)
- no starchy carbs after 4pm
- yoga at least once a week
- belly dance class once a week
- weight training 4 times a week
- get min 7 hours of sleep (ideally 8)
- drink lots of water (3-4 liters a day)
- cut sugar and alcohol
- eat every 3 hours (5-6 small meals a day)

What I have done is make a list of the above (with some alterations to suit my preferences - like rollerblading or swimming instead of bellydancing) and check them off each week as I do them. The exercise is the least of my concerns, for me it is the starchy carbs and general dieting. I'm really great with dieting for the first little while but then I lose focus as I start to look and feel good. I give myself leeway that I shouldn't, and end up back at the beginning.

So, with a photo shoot planned, I AM finding myself a little more motivated than usual. It's exciting!

I'm recently back from a trip to Europe where I ate gourmet Romanian meals and exercised little. Now I am back on track and just need to pick it up a notch in the diet and weight training department. I am training for a sprint triathlon that takes place on June 15th, so that is helpful with cardio training. I am considering participating in the My Next Triathlon to help support friends who are doing it for the first time.

If anyone is interested in this very un-intimidating and loads-of-fun mini triathlon, check it out at
http://www.triathlons.net/firsttri/index.php

You can register online, train all summer and have fun! I look forward to checking in and staying accountable with everyone in FL and, of course, myself :)

Current morning weight: 146.7
Goal morning weight: 137

So, less than 10lbs to go. I am determined this time to not take fat burners, as they screw me up inevitably. So this could make the challenge a bit more challenging. Go figure.

The grind is open in a few short weeks and then I'll be up there weekly! Any takers?

Mar. 23rd, 2008

Victoria

Things to Write About

Note to self:

Finish the trip review of Dominica and Barbados (don't leave it at just St. Lucia!)

I have no idea when I will get a chance to do all this writing. I also would like, one day, to compose some music using GarageBand (my built in Apple program). I don't want it to be a retirement project, but life seems so busy these days.

Help!
Victoria

Trip Planning

Incidentally, I should mention that I never ended up getting that job that I applied for back in December. For some reason my start page displays the very first post I ever made to livejournal. It happens to be the day I applied for a job, so I thought it worth mentioning that I didn't get it. I forget which job that was, as I've applied for a few since then, but nonetheless, I am carrying on as I always have, with sugar and fitness and, now, writing.

My project for the travel writing course is going to be writing an article about my cycle trip from Calgary to Vancouver along the TransCanada Trail. I intend to take the Rocky Mountaineer east to Calgary (with overnight in Kamloops) and then, after visiting friends in Edmonton and Calgary, cycle home again. On my own, staying in B&Bs along the way.

I will do my best to document what happens digitally, rather than taking all sorts of paper notes (ug, paper is SO last decade!) And I will do so here. The beauty is, of course, that I can always come back and edit this entry.

Today is Easter Sunday (Happy Easter) and I am working on my trip. The first thing to do is to plan the route. I suppose it would also be a good idea to purchase a bike, but it being Easter Sunday, it is easier to plan the route. I am doing so using the www.tctrail.ca website, and now the www.bctrail.ca website as well. Local and regional groups are responsible for the trail, rather than the national organization, so I am using the local site to determine the quality of the trail (paved, rough, windy etc.) to help determine which way I should go. I don't plan on riding a mountain bike so I want to stick mainly to paved sections if possible. If it is more trail riding, then my route and entire plan may change so it is best for me to figure out such details as early as possible.

I have contacted a few people who have cycled across Canada and other countries, to get tips, ideas and suggestions. Neil Armstrong has offered to meet with me during my trip (they live on the way) so I can conduct an interview (and take a break from cycling) for my pending article for Westworld, or whomever ends up purchasing the piece. He has written two books about cycling in Europe, as he and his wife have spent years cycling around the world.

I submitted a query letter as my third assignment to my travel writing course, and heard from an interested classmate. She has done some cross country cycling herself and is interested in my project from a personal standpoint. She asked me a series of questions, which when I answered them, helped me with my research. I shall post those in a little while (not today).

So today, I am continuing on my route planning. I have made it to Christina Lake. Once I have the general route, I shall look in more depth at distances and work out logical places to sleep. I probably won't be doing much touring along the way or sightseeing etc. I hope to make it from point A to B as quickly as possible, stopping for short rests, an occasional swim or hike and to stretch along the way. Oh, and to take pictures of course.

I have just come across some trail info that you might find interesting. Messages like the following are EXACTLY why I am doing this trip planning now.

Note:

You will be riding on an abandoned railbed; expect a wide range of surface conditions, from hard packed gravel to loose, unconsolidated railway ballast. This trail is generally unsuitable for street bikes, and will require a bike with wider tires for soft surfaces.

(from the Princeton section of the TC Trail http://www.bctrail.ca/Communities/Princeton/trips.html)

Keep in mind that I DID intend to cycle this on a road bike (street bike). So what should I do? This will be my next problem. Axe this section of the TC Trail, despite cycling it being my primary purpose OR, take a different bike?

I guess you and I shall have to be kept in suspence while I figure it out. Once I plan the entire route, I'll determine just how much of the trail is unsuitable for a road bike, and go from there. Maybe I can save myself $2000 of bike. :-D

Mar. 3rd, 2008

Victoria

Unfinished Business

Apparently I am one of those people who start things and don't finish them. Blogging has exposed my bad habits to the world! Or whoever reads this anyway. Realization is the first step to solving the problem, however, and I hope to finish what I start - literally - my ramblings and I need closure.

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